Australia Trip Report Part 2

I'm back home and feeling A-OK after pretty much three days without sleep. The plane was ok, somehow the films were all different on the last flight and I was treated to 'Hot Rod' which is probably the funniest film of the year. One guy nearly died on my first plane and had to be revived, on the 2nd plane I had to wrestle a mobile phone out of the hands of a young Chinese guy that couldnt understand English or the fact that its very dangerous to be texting your mates at 30,000 feet.

The wedding was bordering on perfect. It was on a beach on the best day of the year, weather wise. The bride look stunning, the groom looked cool and we even saw a whale jump out of the water, almost as if it had been organised somehow.

Of course, as soon as it got to the dancing stage of the night it was just like any other wedding Ive been to. A bunch of pissed up Ozzies dancing to 'Land down under' by Men at Work capped the night off.

So I arrived in Melbourne on Monday and my hotel, in the Crown Casino, was the best Ive ever stayed in. Brilliant view, luxury room and every thing I could wish for (though the porn was pretty soft).

I'm not an expert Omaha player, Im a winning player, but really a hold'em man. My strategy is simple, wait for the nuts and let an idiot pay me off. So I entered the $200 PLO Rebuy event purely for the experience. By the end of the rebuy period I had played only a few hands, got myself to average and added on. I had only invested $400 and one guy at my table must have stuck in $3000.

So I opened up a little at the freezeout stage, I managed to triple up with quad aces at one point (runner runner to boot) but rarely went above the average. To my amazement I managed to 'fold' my way to the money, and somehow folded my way to the final table.

Now, I do think I played well pre-cashing, but it dawned on me after that I had NO CLUE WHATSOEVER about Omaha end game tournament strategy. I didnt know what constituted a pushing hand and what didnt. Normally at a final table that included Tino Lechich and Lee Nelson I may have been intimidated, but its hard to be intimidated when you have no positive attributes that could be cast into doubt.

I finished 4th for $8700 and was dissapointed I couldnt fold my way to the title. Tino won it and was probably the best player on the day. I think I deserved to cash but didn't really deserve to make the final table, especially not 4th.

So I was pretty knackered after this, it was day two and the final was just after noon, after going to bed around 4 am. It was about 5pm when I busted and I had already preregistered weeks ago for the next event starting at 7pm, so I decided to just hang around and wait for that.

500 players registered in total for the $230 NLHE, which meant I was potentially in for a long night. I decided to go for it and build a big stack, even found myself all in with just a pair of jacks early to do this. Before I knew it, 350 players were gone and another cash was looking good.

I was totally fucked, I looked like a zombie at the table and was using all of my resources to make poker decisions. It was actually the best I had played live in a long time. I sat keeled over, barely able to open my eyes and occassionally mustered the energy to say 'all in', but I cashed easy in the wee hours when we got down to 50.

As the time dragged on another final table was in my sights, I had built a bigish stack but the structure was so fast that I ended up all in with pocket tens against King Queen soon enough. The flop was merciful, in that it spiked a king right away instead of shafting me on the river. I was out in 14th place for nearly another grand and was totally devastaed.

I really wanted to make back to back final tables more than anything, I currently am looking ok in the Pokernews Cup leaderboard and a second final would have probably secured me winning it and the Aussie Millions package that comes with it.

So my last day in Oz was spent getting pissed and playing a cash table, with also very pissed Nick Wright from WPT Magazine. We were rowdy, straddling, doing our best Sam Farha impression and throwing all the money in with nothing. Somehow, despite being both wankered, we both managed to take a grand from the Aussies here and avoided getting our heads kicked in too. I actually played pretty well for a drunk and its a good table image to exploit if you can pull it off.

Poker in Australia is great. The standard is pretty poor, the people are very fun and the Crown Casino is the best Poker Venue I think that exists outside of Vegas. I came back $11,000 better off, which is not bad considering I went for a mates wedding.

I have treated the missus to a Nintendo Wii when I got back, we have both deluded ourselves into thinking its a valid form of 'exercise'.

UK Pokernews and Danny from Hear'say

Had a lot going on of late (besides the fact that I have barely left the house) - the big news is that I have just been appointed by pokernews to be their senior staff writer for the UK.

I write freelance for them anyway and have a genuine love for the website, having seen it grow from a tiny little site a few years ago into arguably the biggest online poker resource in the world. The live updates are also superb and becoming the most user friendly and attractive ones in the business (Theres a good chance I'll be on the other side of that during the WSOPE in September).

The rest of today I will be spending writing my best mans speech, which is due in on Saturday when I go to Stevenage to send my friend into holy matrimony. I've left it a bit late hoping that my brief (unsuccessful) venture into stand up comedy will carry me through.

The best part about the upcoming weekend is that Danny from hear@say (remember them?) is a friend of the bride and I get a chance to recreate this picture of me harrasing him from my clubbing days about 5 years ago.

I'm backing Phil for the big one

3 months ago I was from the school of poker that loved to see Phil Hellmuth lose, carefully edited television coverage (and occasional childishness from the Brat) made us all believe that we could go to Vegas and beat Phil and put him on tilt.

Then I interviewed him a couple of months back and……well, nothing had really changed much. He was a very nice guy but he still managed to tell me he was the greatest player of all time before I had asked him much, I still thought he wasn’t as good as he thinks he is.

I’m not sure exactly what it is that’s changed, I certainly hope its not to do with the fact that I have his phone number in my mobile, but I really want him to destroy the WSOP this year. The introduction of so many stud/razz/Omaha/hi lo games this year seems a cynical way to ensure a pro gets a bracelet and to an extent the hold’em events are ‘expected’ to be won by nobodies.

Maybe by doing so well so far in the huge NLHE fields in some way has restored my faith in the pro vs the field. Perhaps its because its nice to see somebody I’ve heard of at the final tables and that makes poker a more enjoyable spectator sport. If Phil could win another bracelet or maybe make the final of the big one then surely this is can be our ‘for’ argument in the is poker a game of skill argument that we all have at times. That a pro can win the main event before and after he poker boom and that it doesnt matter that there is 100 or 10,000 players, as long as you beat your table.

He would of course, be unbearable if he actually won the big one, but maybe poker needs that? Moneymaker, Raymer and Gold all seem to have been one hit wonders and although Joe Hachem has proved his is a genuine champion of the sport; perhaps we need the Poker Brat to raise the bar for the large field generation of poker.

Phil is 7-1 to place higher in the main event than any previous champion; I think that is the safest bet to take this year at the series.

OK Donk! You and me heads-up

One of the many things that online poker has introduced to the world that rarely happens (rarely, it does happen) is the challenging to heads-up matches from people you have rubbed up the wrong way. In poker, this has become a modern form of duelling, you suck out on somebody and enrage them to the point that they challenge you to a heads-up match, usually for stakes larger than the game you are in.

I had this happen to me today, I limped with pocket aces into a guy whose blind I had been stealing constantly, I knew he was due to take a stand against me, he shoves all-in with ace-ten and I call and bust him from the SNG. “I’m waiting in a $200 HU match for you, come on you p ussy, me and you know d ick, you scared?” etc etc etc. I’m not sure why he was so annoyed at me for beating him with the best hand but he stuck around for the rest of a lengthy Sit and Go berating me.

This rarely happens in casinos, largely because A) Heads-up games are not available most of the time and B) You can actually see each other, I assume most of these angry people are short, Napoleon complex, and wouldn’t dare challenge a bigger man to a heads-up match in case he suggests they just go for an honest punch-up instead. I elected not to join him, partially because I was on a bubble in the SNG and also because I found it funny that he wouldn’t leave my table and was enjoying disappointing him. The question is, should I have gone into the match?

Now, ego is no reason to go into these games, I felt I had no need to prove myself and if you readily accept these challenges to prove yourself then you will never be playing your ‘A’ game. Is it potentially a profitable game?

If you are well versed in heads-up matches, then it is a definite yes, if someone you have already bested challenges you to a game you excel in then you surely will come out on top most of the time. If not then it simply isn’t worth it.

A good reason the take the challenge is that your opponent is definitely on tilt, I’ve only met one person who actually plays better when they are angry so unless its that guy then you are going to get them mano vs mano when they are not 100%, the best possible time to get heads-up.

If, like me, you are at a crucial stage in another game, as you likely will be because of the initial challenge, then you have to weigh up the expected value of the game you are in compared to the heads-up match on offer, the chances are the game you are in will be more profitable because you will have this players chips and the prizes on offer will be more than the doubling of your money a HU match offers.

If the match in question is at a stake higher than you are bankrolled for (and they often will be as is the nature of the challenge) then you certainly must not take the offer, even if you do win this is not a long term profitable strategy – playing above your bankroll in an emotional tear up is a recipe for disaster.

So the next time you are childishly challenged to a heads-up game, swallow your pride and simply ask yourself – is this profitable?

If all else fails, insult their mother.

Swallowing a grenade

Losing $1500 in two hands sucks. Losing $1500 when you are sat watching a DVD (Fantastic Four) with your girlfriend and you are pretending that you are not playing online poker is devastating. The temptation to throw my laptop across the living room is hard enough when I am alone so keeping it under tabs when in company is very very, well, painful. It felt like I'd swallowed a grenade. I excused myself to go to the toilet and just sat there looking for something I could punch that wouldn't make a noise. I couldn't find anything and somehow managed to contain my rage til the following mornings very early session on the punchbag at my gym.

Although I would take that experience again over watching the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film again, that was 3 hours I'm not getting back.

The Green Joker Poker Festival

I'm back from Drogheda, Ireland, after giving the locals a lesson in blowing a chip lead in both the €1080 event and the €550. The Green Joker Poker Festival held at the Drogheda card club was by a country mile the best tournament I have ever played, with a structure to die for (15,000 chips and no running antes).

As mentioned I donked off any early chip lead in both events and went out on day 1 of each, had a load of fun though and my good friend and subway sandwhich buddy Jen Mason won the main event and €30,000. Even though I bust out early, I and every player there was happy to have played, because the structure allowed for creative play, seeing lots of flops and being able to get away from hands. People need to know about this tournament because it needs to grow, if you have ever hated the crapshoot stage of a tournament, get yourself to the Green Joker Poker Festival.

No fun in the sun for me

Many people think that giving up the 9-5 grind and making a living in the world of poker means that glorious days like this are to be revelled in. After all I can go to bed late, sleep in and take a walk in the park next to my apartments if I want to when the rest of the world is clockwatching at work.

Wrong.

Every day you are not making money seems like a wasted day, so this morning (after a visit and a cuppa at my Dads)when the sun started shining I was sat playing SNGs til noon. I am now sat indoors gearing up to start writing something.....anything, with the noise of children playing in the park and the knowledge that I have spoken to a grand total of 4 people today - which is something of a working from home record.

The next few days will be a lot more social for me, though still probably exempt from the sunlight, as I head to Ireland for the Green Joker Poker Festival. It promises to be a juicy affair with a 15,000 starting stack and no running antes - though 200 crazy Irishmen should still make for plenty of action.

When I get back, I plan to get excited about this film: